November 2007

November 5- This is the day of my orientation. I have to submit my requirements to become an employee of Trend Micro. I met friends who will be my batchmates for the training that will be held next day. We will be assigned in different Team. One for SMB level 1 and the other will be for Level 2 APAC team. Me, I will be a member of 24x7 TAM for Enterprise. It was around 3PM when the orientation for the company, IT, requirements submission finished. I went home, rest because the next day I have to go to the office at night. My training is scheduled at night, around 9PM. Wow. Is that right? training at night. I thought it will be in the morming? That's bad.. heheheh. Gud luck for me.

This is a very hard month for me. I do not have enough sleep because I have to study once I got home. I have to study 5 products with addition with other training modules. I also have to adopt with this new time schedule. I do not have time to do my exercise but I continue to take my vitamins and milk before sleep.

I experience the most compassionate relationship. Don't think bad okay. I said compassionate because this is my first time to give a lot of my time with this special person. Within the day, we talk almost 3 hrs. We send/receive txt messages from morning till night. We always have to talk to the phone when we have the chance.

I don't know but I really like, or say love this person. I called this person "Mahal". We have a lot of conflicts, in priorities, distance problem, status, and conflicts in plans for life. I am very serious about the relationship when I entered to this relationship. I know that is problem, I know love is blind but I am preparing myself for the consequence of my decision.

I quit once, but I really love Mahal and I am hoping for Mahal will change because I feel that seriousness is not part of Mahal's vocabulary. I want a serious relationship, I want to talk about our future but the words that came out from my Mahal's really hurt me that night.

I think a hundred times that weekends about the words of Mahal. I pray to God to give me a clear mind and to decide the best for both of us. I ended the relationship the next day. I was a very taught decision, it really hurts me. I cried all night- this is the first time I felt this way with the other person. This is not the same feeling when I broke-up with my ex-girlfirend. I think it is because of the strong bondage that ties me with my Mahal.

Now, my heart is broken and I don't know if I gonna find another person whom I will love this much. But deep down, I am still hoping that my Mahal will come to me and will change mind.

This time, I can focus with my studies. Now I have alot of time to rest and to study my modules.

But deep down, I am so hurt... Hope to move on soon...